Nostalgia, Longing

Purchased some overpriced coffee at Starbuck's this morning, and there was the cutest baby there. Her name was Elizabeth, and she was a chubby little thing. I talked to her and touched her sweet baby chubbiness, and she just smiled at me and cooed and kicked her chubby little legs and waved her chubby little arms all around. She reminded me a lot of this baby I remember.....

She made me think of this little baby, too:

*Sigh* and *swoon*.

I want a baby. I want a precious little bundle of chubbiness to squeeze and love and take care of. It's been long enough for me to forget all the terrible things about having babies around. All I can remember is the heart-melting "goos" and the soul-crushing, toothless, adoring smiles.

I want Rhiannon and Bella to know what it's like to take care of a baby. To have someone depend on you completely. To love you so very much.

I want Brandon to have a little son. A little boy to play with and teach stuff to. A little boy to be proud of. A little boy to hang out with when the girls are doing girl stuff.

Oh, but it's mostly just for me. I can almost feel that precious baby in my arms, feel his weight on my chest. I want to mother a baby again. Just one more time.

Are you there, God? It's me, Keryn. I want a baby. Please.